Quotes of the Day

These quotes are from The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, which I am listening to in audio book format.

"The only thing worst than being talked about is not being talked about." - Ch. 1 [This is a famous one, I know, but for good reason!]

"In the wild struggle for existence, we want to have something that endures." - Ch. 1

"The worst of having a romance is that it makes one so unromantic." - Ch. 1


"You know more than you think you know, just as you know less than you want to know." - Ch. 2

Crazy, crazy, crazy, crazy, CRAZAY!

I am going insane at work. I can feel it creeping on to me every minute, every trip up and down the stairs, every box I take out and put away. 

Well, actually, it was that temp who was creeping on me - insanity is much less subtle.

I knew it when every time I used the copy machine to make my 100 or so copies, I wanted to rip off my ear so I wouldn't hear that screeching noise it squeezed out copies one by one. I almost willed its glass to shatter, its green blinding light to explode and its confused insides to implode as all the toner came spraying out at the stained office walls. 

The image of a hammer also came to mind, and, now that I'm considering it, seems to be a more satisfying alternative.

I don't think I ever noticed that screeching noise before, unless I had thought it was just an incredibly annoying cricket in the room. I genuinely assumed that to be the case when I first noticed the noise, and kept watch over my feet for any stray critters, only to discover that the noise came and went with every copy I made.

That was when fantasies about brutally destroying the machine slowly began brewing in my under-stimulated mind. It might not have been so bad a thing, though, since I had been pondering over ways of providing Australians with speech therapy so that when they read books into my ear their talking wouldn't be so irritating.

I have a college degree, folks, and I worked hard [at times] for it. I have commitment, but I'm sorry if my state of mind and self esteem cannot handle such a degrading task, even if it does need to be done by someone. In all honesty, I could have accepted a job with worse pay if I could have done something that actually required an education.

Only one or two more days until freedom! And then Boston and NYC from November 4-16! That has been the best news of the day.

On 'Sense and Sensibility'

Listening to audio books has been such a blessing and lifesaver during this job. I'm glad I can have something to stimulate my brain and challenge it as I do some brain mush project for two weeks. 


Jane Austen's 'Sense and Sensibility' was the first one I tried. I thought it was about time that I picked it up, having stayed away from Austen books after the horrible experience of 'Northanger Abbey,' which drove me insane with its fluffy and chipper obnoxious-ness. Although I loved 'Pride and Prejudice,' NA really did scar me that much. 


Anyway, so S&S proved to be not as much of a nightmare as NA, and I became very engrossed in the story, which helped the days go by quickly. There were some very hilarious scenes, particularly the one between Mrs. Jennings and Eleanor, who were talking of entirely different things and only making note to themselves how strange the other's remarks were. Add to that the fact that I was listening to it whilst battling fatigue during the drive home from work, bumper-to-bumper all the way.


My thoughts? Well, it's pretty good, overall, but I could never call it one of my favorites. The same fluffy Jane Austen style comes in, but I suppose it's a relief to finally pick up a story with a happy ending. I probably need that in a suffocating storage room as I seek a decent job in a dreary and bleak economy. Yes, a happy ending is a good thing.


I'm reluctant to admit that there's something to be learned from the two elder Dashwood sisters. Often I sided with Maryanne in her frustration at Eleanor's seemingly cold-hearted and controlled disposition. Eleanor lacked the life and the passion that Maryanne had to vigorously chase what/whom she wanted, and that made Eleanor seem like a languid bore, in my opinion. Eventually Maryanne calms herself down and learns from Eleanor's composure, so I lost my ally.


But I have to admit, I can see why there is a need for that kind of self-control, and I am far from having it. I have a stubborn streak that keeps me from swallowing my frustrations and just living on with content resignation. I need passion! I need things that stir me up and excite me! I need life!


Sigh...sadly, I know how immature that all sounds, and I have to commend Eleanor for maintaining her disposition throughout her troubles and the events of the story. I wish I could be mature.


I still think P&P surpasses S&S in characters, plot and satirical wit, but I am glad that I got a chance to listen to this. Maybe I'll pick it up in the future, but that will only happen if I'm bored out of my mind and have gone through my entire list, which sounds quite impossible.


Now I am listening to F. Scott Fitzgerald's 'This Side of Paradise,' which I should finish tomorrow. Up next will be Dickens's 'A Christmas Carol.'

Sadness

I miss my temp co-workers! Now I have no more lessons in life to share! I have more that I have not written, but still. Work is a lot more boring and torturous now.

BUMMER.

On the bright side, I got my paycheck today!

Things I Learn At Work: Day 3

My job with Promutual Group in Boston and my temp job right now in Los Angeles were obtained through a staffing agency, something that I never ever want to do. However, I do meet some very interesting characters who come from very different education and cultural backgrounds. In some conversations I may not be able to share or partake in with the same excitement or experiences; in others I am the one with the information. In yet others, my co-workers yield some great lessons of life, which I shall bestow unto you, even if you already knew them. I am just a sheltered, naive girl who knows only to be scared of breaking the law.

Anyway, so on to the things I have learned so far:

1) If you get a speeding ticket, fight for it. At court, ask the officer when they had their radar last calibrated. The court then has to see a copy of the records that show the dates the officer calibrated his/her radar. If it is not within 4 or 6 months (I forgot which they said) of issuing you your speeding ticket, then your ticket is dismissed.

2) You can easily claim someone else's child for your taxes in order that you don't have to pay as much come tax time - provided that the 'someone else' gives you permission.

3) If you have been in Europe for a good amount of time, you'll notice that they drive a lot faster than Americans. If you get your license there and drive there for a bit, you'll probably learn to drive faster than you usually would here. So, if you then come back to America and get a speeding ticket, you can possibly talk to the officer about '80 feeling like normal speed,' get a reduced fine and then obtain a 6-month adaptation thingy that will excuse you from further speeding tickets.

4) Sometimes, you're more drunk than you think and you'll only realize it after you've driven home drunk. (I greatly disapprove of this, by the way.)

----

These conversations make work a lot more interesting and only a little more bearable. The other great thing I've discovered is Audio Books, which keeps me blissfully occupied as I file away. I am halfway through 'Sense and Sensibility,' a book I've always meant to read, but never did out of my fear of Chick-Lits, even the classic ones!

I should blog about my lessons from Friday! That's for later. =)

On 'The House of Mirth'

Yes, I finally finished it! After taking forever and a day, I have completed another Wharton novel, and am feeling very satisfied - not with myself, but with another full-throttle American high-society story wonderfully crafted by Wharton.

What Wharton does so well in is the crafting of Lily Bart's character and the reader's attachment to her. Now, I tend to get emotionally involved - sometimes too much - in my books, which actually has done more harm than good. I believe I have degraded myself in the eyes of my Irish Literature instructor because I got too involved with one of our stories, which I didn't want to reread out of the fear that I would go mad the second time. I could say the same thing about Crime and Punishment, though I do like Dostoevsky's writing a lot more than McCourt's. It was probably a mistake to say that to the squirrel-y fellow, though, as he simply remarked, "Ah, okay." NO, I'M NOT DUMB AND SHALLOW. I promise I like good books - just not one that make me go crazy!

Anyway, getting along with the purpose of this entry. I was saying that I tend to get emotionally involved, yet was even more involved with Lily's story. There is such brilliance in the way that Wharton weaves you into Miss Bart's complicated internal conflict with such subtlety. At the beginning, I was just the reader. And as a reader I was aware of the corruption and glamorous vacuity of Lily's society, hoping in vain that Lily would eventually also see it and renounce it for true love and romance with Lawrence Seldon, yet knowing that she could not possibly do it for the sake of an effective novel.

And I held that mentality the entire way through until the last chapter, for which I applaud Wharton. I always wanted something good to happen to Lily, even if it were just one thing. When Rosedale turns up again and again to offer her a way out, I was rooting for Lily to take the easy way out, albeit it ignoble. On the other hand, when Seldon offers her chances to be with him, I urged her in my mind to release her control over her emotions to freely and openly love and marry him. Wharton made me feel like I was Lily.

So that is the one aspect of the story that stood out to me. I have another blog entry saved for how much I relate to Lily's internal conflicts (I am definitely not in high society). 

Please read this! It's amazing!

Retirement Plan

The story of Nina Sankovitch really inspires me that life can be 'lively' and enriching when I have a lot of time to do as I wish. A book a day? That's ambitious, even if she does restrict her selections to books less than 250 pages. I have always thought about doing a book a week in summers, but it's hard to even do that when you have to live accordingly with others' demands of you. The Shieh family is never without its spontaneous outings or last-minute meetings.

You can read the article here. Let me insert my favorite part about it:

“I’ve always thought great literature is all one needs to read to understand human psychology, emotions, even history,” she said. “For someone sitting around reading books, it’s been a really lively year.”

I raise my hands in applause. I really could not agree more.

Library rants

Right now, I am sitting by myself at a table for four in the Rowland Heights Library. It used to be quiet, filled with older people or graduate students buried in their cubicles or their books. Now it's turned into a playground for primary school students just out of school, who have clearly not come here to study or to read or to check out any material. The table up ahead of me is sitting seven girls giggling - and no doubt gossiping - and engaged in a card game completely out of place in a library. Earlier I saw a photo shoot of a couple (each cannot have been older than 10 years old ) involving a cell phone with more functions and a slicker look than an of mine will ever possess. A good few of them jetted towards the computers the moment they piled in, a couple of them recruiting their own posses to share whatever hilarious or hip site that would ultimately induce whispered hooting, which, in my very humble opinion, is so much more obnoxious than the heartiest guffawing.

Not to sound haughty or somehow hostile toward children, but I can't relate to any of what I've seen in just twenty minutes of glancing up and down from House of Mirth (YES, I AM STILL READING IT. I HAVEN'T HAD THE TIME TO SIT DOWN WITH IT FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME!). It made me look in retrospect at my childhood and wonder what the hell I did without all these gadgets that are before me right now.

Oh, that's right. I played. I played outdoors. I wonder if that's even done nowadays for anyone who has the capacity to surf the Internet.

Will my own children ever grow up among peers who would encourage reading and studying, working hard for a quality education? for a while, talking to others gave me a bit of pressure to loosen up on reading classics and try a hand at modern-day authors. Thank you, New Yorker, for snapping me out of that with your feature on a London book club. YES, there is something 'fresh and rewarding' about reading classic literature. If you stick at it, you might not get a story you adore and feel supremely blissful in the aftermath, but you're sure to be reading great writing and crafty novels.

Sigh. This attrition of education and reading has me feeling like an expatriate lump with no job, no money and no time to enjoy life for the fear of 'wasting time.' But my goodness, since when has enjoying life that is not revolved around career or work been a waste of time? Is our purpose really to expend and expend ourselves in order to appear honorable and productive?

I'm not saying that we have to lounge around and stitch or read and write letters all day like the Bennetts. I'm just holding on to the hope that maybe society can turn back to its days of raising epicures and discussing wit and charm, beauty and tragedy, or syntax and rhyme. 

Or maybe I'm just bitter about my current situation in life and believe that everyone else should feel the same. 

HAHA, I'm becoming an old senile woman already!

Scottish charms

The New York Times review of Craig Ferguson's memoir has me very interested. There was always something endearingly raw about Craig Ferguson's show, and I really hope to put this on my shelf soon.

I wanna try, I wanna try!

Maybe it's because I'm immature that I would find this amazingly fun.

Mmm...Yummm

Putting this on my reading list!